ABCDEFG = A Boy Can Do Everything For Girl

hahax. some1 told mi that... Safwan told mi that during prefects camp...lol. jux now while chating with bing chia he said its possible whn the guy mit a gal he REALI love... ok.. forget it...

ytd nite my pal went emo'ing... realising that things are getting to a stage whereby he doesnt like it. some ppl ard him, he felt that thy are too selfish in protecting themselves in some ways.. had a good talk... somehow can reali c that he changed... but somehow ii felt v scared that there are some stuffs that i dun reali dared to share with him for fear of influencing him... he said that i changed.. he himslf too... we all sensed it... but i have got this feeling tat there is no turning back for mi... actually duno y, was at the verge of crying.. lol. thn we tok abt the issue of our promised ambitions.. kinda rekindle some hope in mi... ya...lol.... y is it that the more u give, the more u get in return will hurt u more thn u imagine? lol...

in some ways... im switching... to wat? i duno.. wat he said is correct.. ' vivian if u change be comfortable with it.. but i c u are not... and i cant find da tone and spirit that was once inside u..'
haha.. noe wat? it tok be a few moments to digest wat he had said.. ya... come on man... wats the point of holding on to things that wun give u any future? lol. reali feel like leaving the way i am now... but if ever i gonna leave i will nv return... lol.

darren said he dont mind doing a deed in killing mi.. lol. thnx lo.. haha.. thts true pal... lol.
can i like jux leave a post here that tells ppl that may still be concerned abt mi still giving all my apprecation , ya? lol.. Vivian shut up la!! lol... ok.. im truely not myself ani more.. lol.
darren, thanks for everything,.. i reali wunt noe hu i will be without u...

no turning back - stage.. ya.. leaving jj marks the end of my determination... wat to do? so many other factors that adds in that makes life so dull.. glad to have unstables, have bing chia, safwan still there to lean on at times... Safwan u are new... reali hope that i wun be much of a burden to u ya? toking abt burden, sometimes its jux i dun want to set any burden on u thats y kinda dun wan to show it out.. so wat happen is act strong lo.. lol. ok.. if u ever see mi ard jux understand that being hype up is not something i wan ..its jux a way of defending myself from showing some areas of mine that i wan kp from others.... ya...

now wat? had this reali good fren of mine... nice guy, mr good.. haha he hlped mi alot.. thn was at the ogl painting session.. so was hlping out family 2.. thn 1 of his classmates was in jinguo og la.. thn due to some di siao'ing.. we joked ad and everything... so she said that i will look at gals thn guys.. was stunned.. lol. thn later she said sorry.. and contd saying that my good fren told her abt my story, as in how he hlped mi overcome tose dark days.. i was like WTF!!!!! shut up! wat is tell ppl abt mi jux to say or show how romantic he can be / how good a guy fren he is.. wah.. tat moment reali wan break down and cry... all these while i tried to face him.. was trying damn hard to make up that trust that i had accidentally unbalanced.. ok.. so now is that both of us are equal...

i duno iif im reali sick or not... migraine spells are ringing and ringing... somehow... i felt worst.. can it not be the end of the world? hey pal... its gonna be a tough route no matter wat.. dun use ur watsoever pain to escape from it.. do u no good... vivian , kampatei? hope so...

so can ABCDEFG ever happen?

Labels: falling

was having a tough 1 tis period of tym...

Enlightenment failed to make me realise that im in a pile of shit n that i reali have to pull up my socks.. it allows mi to escape, thats something that i reali nid to encouraged mi to reali take a break. and i dod, i did took a break, from frens dearest to mi to things that i reali loved. this time round i tresure the things and relationship i have with frens i reali treasure it...

wat reali happen was so fast that i wasnt much able to react.. thn all i wanted was to find some1 to tok to... cass was doing up her hair that day, huili and darren wasnt much able to reached for so i called rj... good listener ya.. felt beta but not much of a diff aniway.... thn it was ogl briefing the following monday... can be graded as one of my worst day!!!! wth... wasnt much in mood and darren did a good thing of turning us round and round and round huh? hahs.. thn went over to huili place, had a reali great talk.... this tym round i reali tote of packing up and leave so was expecting loads for the weekend to come for gess camp... the expectations of leaving home and reali have a breathher? yup....

the break was still on, but i decided to call up. had a good talk, crying and pouring out things that i had learnt, given up, trying to struggle? ya... safwan was beside mi... listening ? think so... thx safwan, thx darren, but somehow i think u all noe wat i meant bahz? haha the theoryt behind diversity, i wun forget bahx... passion, hope that will pull mi longer... i reali hope so.... promise doesnt change aniithing it jux exist to make u feel good, better, stressed up so that things seemed important to u rite? ya....

hahas... the camp was good, thx man for all the laughter, havent reali had such a goood laugh, whn things were getting out of hand... tough period it is, it still is... somehow u can jux realise that all u nid is jux a sky of sunsetting, whn it represents an end to everything, will that sunset ever come? will it ever appear?

wats a rainbow whn it onli consist of red, blue and violet?

can i add u into my book of passion? can i?

Labels: falling?